Thursday, December 16, 2010

Muffinism can strike at any moment!

Muffinism - that moment when your brain acts independently of common sense, or any kind of sense come to that!

Take today, driving south in Alberta, minding my own and being pleasant, or at least not hacking people off deliberately! Shania was on the radio, the snow had held off and even the wildlife had legged it directly out of the way when I blew the twin air horns. ( The sign on the US Presidents desk may read "The Buck Stops Here!" - In my world it's the radiator grill where that happens!)

A sexy female voice interrupted Shania, "Turn Left In 1.3 kilometers" uttered the GPS, not for me the map spread out on the wheel at 70 mph!~  I eased over when traffic allowed and prepared to enter the left turn lane ahead.  Traffic ahead set off as the signal turned green, I entered the left turn lane.

Something shot by the passenger door, for a moment I thought it was some suicide car bomber who had inadvertently started the countdown and being unable to reset it was making a determined dash for the intended point of bang!  It turned out to be some Canadian heading for home - so hard to detect the difference. As the car shaped rocket tore up the outside lane, Muffinism struck! In the shape of a pick-up driver tired of tootling behind the rest of the slow lane pack, he turned out, without bothering to extend his digit the inch required to operate the turn signal or bother with the rear view mirror, directly into  the path of the speeding rocket!

I braked, gently on the packed snow as 94,000lbs takes a bit of stopping, although at a push the wreckage of a rocket and pick up will do nicely - eventually! The rocket veered into my lane - he hit the brakes as the opposing side of the junction was approaching fast - well, faster for him rather than me admittedly! Braking was clearly a failure, well it locked the wheels but that just meant he went faster. Turning right, back into his lane, was out, because the pick-up was dithering about there, and turning left was just a dream at that speed on that surface!

No, all that was left was to hang on and duck as the rocket smashed into a 3 ft high wall of snow left there by some snowplough driver for just this eventuality.

There was a colossal explosion of snow! - There was a colossal explosion of light as the headlights illuminated the exploding snow from the inside! - The was a colossal darkness as the car stopped, the snow fell back down - and the car disappeared from view!

I stopped, something the pick-up driver though unnecessary, and watched as a door in the snow opened, a small avalanche disappeared inside the car to warm up and a driver emerged, he looked at the car - stuck! - he looked at the distant rear end of the pick-up and shook his fist at it! As he indicated he was well, I moved on, too dangerous to risk dragging him out.

As I drove off it occurred to me that this was the first occasion I had witnessed a fist shaking through the windshield - up till now it's always been in the rear view mirrors!


Ponita in Real Life said...

Kinda nice to know the gesture wasn't directed at you!

Idiots... they are all idiots. Where's that dash mounted phazer when you need one???

hope said... husband calls moments like that "Brain Farts". :)

Stay safe!

Scarlet Blue said...

Merry Christmas!!!
And I hope you get to spend some time with Ponita.

Anonymous said...

A Happy New Year - wherever you are!

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